I'm the 12th Doctor, stuck here for the rest of eternity. I've had many Companions, but in the end, they all go away.
Serious though: the name is Melissa, but I prefer Mel or Missy. 23. Canadian, from the province of Ontario. When I'm not connected to wi-fi, my phone likes to think we're in Quebec. Read. Write. Obsess over shows and music.

 

person: i didn't like guardians of the galaxy

person:

person: what are you doing

me: dance-off, bro. me and you. let's go

Anecdotes by medical practitioners

"A woman came in for a baby check with her 6-month-old and she had what looked like chocolate milk in the baby’s bottle. So he started explaining to her as kindly as he could that she shouldn’t be giving her baby chocolate milk. At which point she interrupts him and says, ‘Oh that isn’t chocolate milk. It’s coffee! He just loves it!”

"I had a patient come in for an STD check. She was very upset and continued to tell me that she only had one partner. Progressing through my assessment, she further divulged that even if he was sleeping with other people it shouldn’t matter ‘because he uses a condom every time and he makes sure to wash it thoroughly after every use’.”

"Had a lady who measured her baby’s temperature by pre-heating the oven and putting one hand in front of it while the other hand was on the baby’s forehead. She told the nurse her baby’s fever was about 250 degrees.”

"Lady has to have foot amputated and is given waiver forms to sign pre-op. Buddy asks if she needs time to think about it. She’s very nonchalant and doesn’t seem to care much what they do. He gets suspicious and probes a bit as to why she’s not more concerned. She says she gets that they have to operate and it’s OK because the foot will grow back.”

"I had a couple who had been trying to conceive for over two years. I asked all the usual questions, how often do you have sex, any previous pregnancy, etc etc. Something seemed off to me during the consult, so I continued to ask questions. Finally I asked if he ejaculated while inserted into the vagina. Both parties looked confused.Turns out the couple was not having insertional sex at all. I had to awkwardly explain to them how insertional sex works. Diagrams were required.”

"Patient comes in, she’s upset. She’s pregnant, and she doesn’t understand why. She’s on the pill. Upon talking to her at great length, I find out that she only takes the pills on the days that she is sexually active – no other time.”

"Patient comes in with her bf. They are indignant, as if somehow I could’ve prevented [the pregnancy]. The problem? Well, the pills were bothering the girl’s stomach, so, being a gallant bf, he decided to start taking them instead.”

“I was explaining the treatment to the husband of a patient about to be discharged. He kept nodding and agreeing with me, but I knew it was flying over his head. Turned out a fundamental problem was that I was describing the drugs as ‘tablets’ and he had no clue what those were.”

Reddit thread 

(Source: moshita)

Played 1,145,705 times

caffeinatrix:

sinatrasorbet:

lifeisliam:

niams-sexiness:

suddenlynixon:

sydmicky:

YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN MY FACE WHEN I REALIZED WHAT THIS WAS

image

Oh hello nostalgia 

Oh my god

OMG THE NOISE I MADE WASN’T HUMAN

image

I AM PLAYIN GTHIS SO LOUD RIGHT NOW OUT MY WINDOW

OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!!

(Source: antlerart)

blackbarmitzvahs:

rebelred-in-boots:

shedancesatmidnight:

gehenna:

mendox:

leaaves:

preah:

durational:

luxex:

i feel as if this symbolizes the fact that shes under so much stress to be beautiful

or shes stoned as fuck

Or she stabbed herself in the eye with the brush

Or she’s crying because for once she got the volume her mascara brand promised her

lol or maybe its just a picture with cool contrast meant to give off an eerie and creepy vibe. 

Or she’s turning into the black swan

Or maybe she’s born with it

Or maybe it’s Maybelline

You guys are all fucked 

blackbarmitzvahs:

rebelred-in-boots:

shedancesatmidnight:

gehenna:

mendox:

leaaves:

preah:

durational:

luxex:

i feel as if this symbolizes the fact that shes under so much stress to be beautiful

or shes stoned as fuck

Or she stabbed herself in the eye with the brush

Or she’s crying because for once she got the volume her mascara brand promised her

lol or maybe its just a picture with cool contrast meant to give off an eerie and creepy vibe. 

Or she’s turning into the black swan

Or maybe she’s born with it

Or maybe it’s Maybelline

You guys are all fucked 

(Source: longtonguedbrain)

shipssabriel:

I love when people randomly follow me because I assume they’ve just seen something I said and went “ah yes. This nerd seems particularly strange. Let’s see what else it does”

(Source: stridermayorfeels)

unhopefully:

do you ever say something that actually took some courage to say and then the other person doesn’t reply how you wanted them to and makes you feel stupid so then you’re just so embarrassed and regret saying anything?